I can’t even tell you how sad it makes me when I hear pro-lifers call abortion supporters childish names. I am continually grateful for the pro-lifers who continued to respect my dignity when I worked inside the abortion industry. They hated what I did, but they continued to love me. They never called me a ‘deathscort,’ ‘murderer,’ or ‘baby killer.’
They just called me Abby.
They got to know me. They cared about me. And now look where I am today.
Name calling is childish and it is INCREDIBLY counterproductive to our movement.
Estimated reading time: 12 minutes.
Daniel from Canada recently asked me this question: “What should pro-lifers say to someone who performs abortions?” He commented that this would be a good follow-up to my recent posts on what pro-lifers should say to someone who wishes they had been aborted, is happy about her abortion, or someone who has post-abortive friends.
There were recently good discussions on this question at the Secular Pro-Life and Jill Stanek blogs, and I also asked the question to my followers on my Facebook page. This post is a combination of my own thoughts and my favorite comments from other pro-life advocates on this topic.
These opportunities can actually happen. Sidewalk counselors are in an especially good position to develop friendships with abortion practitioners. Abby Johnson’s book “Unplanned” recounts the impact that the kind members of Coalition for Life had on Abby. I had the great privilege of coaching my friend Don Blythe, a sidewalk counselor in Modesto and Stockton, who was having a congenial email exchange with the abortion practitioner at his local abortion facility. He’s also had multiple conversations with other abortion practitioners since.
Before I get to the list, I think that the best environment for conversations like this would be at a neutral place like a coffee shop, as opposed to the sidewalk in front of the abortion facility. This may not always be possible, but if the abortion practitioner was willing to meet once a month for coffee, I would take that opportunity in a heartbeat. (No pun intended.)
To my non-Christian readers, religion is about to happen, but it’s important to explain where I’m coming from on this topic.
Secular Pro-Life blog
6/18/14
Estimated reading time: 11 minutes.
Roni Cairns is a good friend of mine whom I’ve known for at least four years. She’s the reason I began exploring the use of relational apologetics to persuade pro-choice people to the pro-life position. After four years of friendship and debate, Roni is now pro-life.
Roni and I met each other in an abortion debate group on Facebook. I spent about a year participating in that group, ultimately becoming one of the admins, even though most of the participants were pro-choice. I learned a lot that year about how to (and how not to) debate online. (I’m sure I will be publishing some of what I learned in the future.)
Roni was extremely pro-choice, but we genuinely liked each other from the beginning. Of all the people in that group, Roni was one of the three pro-choice people whom I was closest to, and believed most likely to one day become pro-life. Roni is an amazing reader, a good thinker and her ultimate fantasy is being a Supreme Court justice.
Roni just finished writing a series of blog posts about her conversion. There are links to all of them at the bottom of this article, but my favorite is part four, which Roni gave me permission to post in its entirety here. It’s about the night my friend Clinton Wilcox and I took Roni to dinner.
This really got to me. I was on the fence about the whole pro-life/pro-choice debate, but seeing the words she wrote on her t-shirt got to me. I am ashamed to admit it but I never thought about a fetus like that before.
~ Redittor after reading this post about my friend Deanna and the pro-life shirt she wore to the Canadian March for Life. (Original thread here.)
Favorite quote: “As a woman, I neither need nor want the right to kill humans to be equal as a human being. I am a woman. I am strong. I am capable. I am not inferior. And I don’t need the right to kill to be equal.”
Click here to read about my friendship with Roni.