“The youth.” How do we reach them? What are they thinking? Who is influencing them? How do we get them off their phones and actually doing something? 

Maybe it’s because I’m barely 5’1” and look a lot younger than I am, but the number of times I’ve been asked some variation of “How do we reach the youth?” is…literally every time I do a Q&A with an audience over the age of 50. To a lot of adults, it feels like a big impossible mystery.

I just got home from speaking at the Michigan District of the Missouri Synod Lutheran Church High School gathering. That audience was not over the age of 50—about 800 high school students descended upon Mackinac Island (a gorgeous place for a speaking trip, by the way!) for four days of talks, fellowship, prayer, and growing in their faith. I spent four days “reaching” the exact demographic I’m most frequently asked about, and I’m going to be honest with you: it’s actually not that mysterious. 

I am a firm believer that high school students want nothing more than to be treated like adults. There are definitely parts of being an adult they don’t want; they don’t want to deal with taxes or insurance companies any more than actual adults do.  But high school students want to be respected, in a way that adults often respect other adults—and often don’t respect them.

Adults are taken seriously. 

Adults have a say in how the world works. 

Adults get to have their own thoughts and opinions and run their own lives. 

Adults are valued for their knowledge and experience; nobody writes them off because they’re “too young and naive” to know anything about the real world.

I believe that when high school students are treated like they have valuable experience, like their thoughts matter, and like they can handle challenging concepts and controversial conversations, they rise to the occasion. 

I gave that exact invitation on stage to 800 high school students last Sunday night—to come talk about abortion with me in a real way. I invited them to dive headlong with me into the smartest pro-choice arguments and the smartest pro-life arguments that exist and assured them that we wouldn’t be avoiding the tough questions. I told them that I believe our society can have real, deep conversations about abortion without the sky falling and everyone hating each other, and that I would show them how. Because I believe they can do it—not just that society in general can, but that they personally can. 

Monday morning, my speech was standing room only. 

Tuesday morning, my speech was full too.

Tuesday night, my Q&A session lasted from 9:00pm to 11:00pm—a full hour and 15 minutes longer than it was supposed to—because so many students came with honest questions and an open mind. 

And this isn’t an anomaly. Every single time I’m in front of a room of high school students and I invite them to talk about something real and serious with me, they rise to the occasion. 

The pre-course survey for our high school curriculum, Equipped for Life Academy, has found the same thing. Most students haven’t had the chance to engage with the issue of abortion in any meaningful way, especially not with an adult there to guide the discussion. The media, adults, and organizations in their lives have told them what to believe, sure, but actually engaging with the topic? 41% of students say they’ve “never really engaged with the issue of abortion before” going through our curriculum in their school or church. For the rest of them, their “engagement” mostly involved “hearing about abortion in the news sometimes” and “discussing it with friends sometimes.”

And when they’re given the opportunity to actually engage head on, they love it. They packed my speech until it was standing room only. In that same Equipped for Life Academy pre-survey, 79% of students expressed they are “positive” or “fine with” learning about abortion in class. Only 5% are actively reluctant or opposed. 

I think a huge reason why teachers, pastors, and youth leaders are reluctant to invite students into deep conversations about controversial topics is because they’re afraid that that “actively reluctant or opposed” group is the majority—when it’s actually just 5%. They don’t realize that students are not only willing, but itching to talk about something real. 

Were you ever that high school student asking “when am I ever going to use calculus in real life?!” You didn’t necessarily hate school; you just craved the real world. Today’s high schoolers are the same, and there are few topics that feel more real-world relevant to them than abortion.

Take the Catholic Diocese of Lansing, Michigan.

The Diocese purchased our Equipped for Life Academy curriculum for two Catholic high schools thanks to a generous grant from a local right to life chapter—Plymouth County Right to Life. The plan was to teach the entire 15-lesson sequence over the course of four years, covering three or four lessons with each grade level. Originally, the schools planned to phase it in gradually: just freshmen the first year, freshmen and sophomores the second year, etc, until all four grade levels were learning their respective lessons four years from now. But when the teachers got their hands on the lesson plans, one school’s staff decided it was so important that they redid their curriculum planning for the whole year to make time for every single student to use Equipped for Life Academy. Letting the next three graduating classes go by without discussing abortion with them just wasn’t an acceptable option anymore—not once they’d seen the impact this could have. 

And their students were thrilled.

“I’m excited because I know I don’t know everything about [abortion], so if I can learn more I would feel a lot better in my opinion.” ~17 year old in Mr. I’s class

“I think it is a good thing for students to discuss controversial topics so that they can form their views of it in a controlled environment before they go into the real world.” ~ 18 year old in Mrs. L’s class

“I am glad that we get to learn in a space where my views are not judged or held against me. I am also glad we get to be educated in this matter that will help the world be a better place as we grow and mature into adults and leaders of society.” ~ 15 year old in Ms. M’s class

“I am very grateful for the opportunity to be able to go to a school that does this. It is very good to learn about [controversial] topics.” ~ 18 year old in Mr. I’s class

And that wasn’t just the sentiment from students who were already pro-life. When students begin using our curriculum, 39.1% do not identify as pro-life—including 24.4% who are unsure and 14.7% who identify as pro-choice. Let me say that again: 39.1% do not identify as pro-life, but only 5% are actively reluctant or opposed to learning about abortion in class.

So how do we reach the youth about abortion?

Actually invite them in. Trust me, they’re craving it. Invite them to think in a real, deep way. Don’t tell them what to believe, and don’t shy away from the hardest questions and emotional moments. Give them space to share their honest opinions and process complex feelings alongside you. Walk together as you explore the smartest arguments on all sides and see how they stack up. If the pro-life position is true, and I’m awfully sure that it is, then that’s what students will come to see too.

That’s what our curriculum is designed to do, and I firmly believe that you can do it with your youth too. 

The post “How to Talk to Teens About Abortion” originally appeared at the Equal Rights Institute blog. Subscribe to our email list with the form below and get a FREE gift. Click here to learn more about our pro-life apologetics course, “Equipped for Life: A Fresh Approach to Conversations About Abortion.”